Sweet Stuff

Faking-it, Make it Quick, Cheater Tiramisu

Faking it, Make it Quick, Cheaters Tiramisu

I just kinda let Valentines day blow in and sputter out without even one whiff of a romantically tinged offering from the Kick and Dinner kitchen, didn’t I? No dark chocolate dipped strawberries, no heart-shaped black bean brownies, not even a pastel-pink hued smoothie. I got NOTHIN.


Sorry about that, Poodle.

Let me make it up to you. With this:

Pumpkin Seed Chocolate Bark

Pumpkin Seed Chocolate Bark

Having a chocolate emergency? I totally get you.

If you have a bag of chocolate chips on hand…..well, there’s your remedy right there. Grab a handful and dispense them, epi-Pen style (but far less expensive – wait, that’s not even funny), and you should be good to go. Don’t you think? Not so much?

Still feeling that emergency but you’d like something with a little more, say….heft? Textural interest? A bit of crunch? Sweet, tart, maybe even a sophisticated hit of salt? ANd you want this right NOW?

Chocolate Drenched, Crunchy Nut Coated, Almond Butter Oozing Stuffed Dates

Oh, hey, Yikes. These things are dangerously good.

Stuffed Dates

Take half of a sticky date, with all of its natural dark-brown-sugar, caramel-candy-like sweetness…

Stuff it with as much gooey rich almond butter as you can possibly manage…

Dip this drupe dumpling into a decadent pool of melty dark chocolate…

Liberally coat the whole thing-a-ma-whats-it in a shower of crunchy, salty, finely chopped nuts….

and you just may fall prey to what’s known on the streets over here in my hood as the “crack turd“. I mean, seriously, these little logs of luscious are nothing short of amazement IN YOUR MOUTH, but they are not going to win any prizes in the best-looking category any time soon.

So yeh, they sorta look like a turd, okay? True as that may be they are like culinary crack and that is all you need to know. Your new addiction awaits.

Healthy Fudgy Frozen Cacao Balls

Healthy, Fudgy, Frozen Cacao Balls

I know it’s summertime and the Fro-Yo is beckoning, but I have something better here that I whipped up for you.

Creamy, luscious, actually HEALTHY, frosty balls of chocolatey dipped frozen finery, these little babies will curb your cravings for ice cream…when that’s all your brain can scream about.

Classic Apple Crisp

Classic Apple Crisp

Hey hey, Memorial Day!

Not just a celebration of the beginning of summer – or a time to book fun travel plans or hang out at a barbecue with family and friends (although I conscientiously object to none of the above)….Memorial Day is an important day in America, one that reminds us – to remember.

Supah-Quick history lesson: Memorial Day was established on May 6, 1862 by General John A. Logan as a way to remember the soldiers that were killed during the Civil War. The date wasn’t chosen for any particular reason, he just sort of picked it out of a hat (I made that part up….about the hat).

Anyway in 1971 the Federal Government established the holiday to be on the last Monday of May as a way to grant employees a three-day weekend! Yes! Can you believe it? See…..the feds aren’t all bad.

Well, at least back in 1971 maybe they weren’t……but I digress. In all seriousness this is a date to honor all of America’s fallen soldiers, in wars past and present, for the ultimate sacrifice.

So go thank a Veteran, why don’t you? Maybe you can make this for ’em.

Almond Butter Chocolate Chip Zucchini Banana Bars

This title took me so long to type that I might need to eat one of these guys for re-fuel-age. Almond butter chocolate chip zucchini banana bars

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t that long but any excuse is a good reason to whip up a batch of these. With absolutely no refined white flour (or any sort of flour for that matter), very low sugar (about 6 grams per square; compare that to your basic store-bought cookie at an average of 15 grams per cookie….that’s ONE cookie, people) vitamins, minerals, fiber and protein to boot, these super moist chocolate chip studded squares of gooey goodness will trick your sweet tooth into thinking you’ve been bad when in fact you’ve been very, very good.

Think of it as zucchini/banana bread gone wild. So incredibly yummy you will not believe how good for you a “treat” can be! And that’s just crazy-ness.

Frozen Chocolate Covered Almond Butter Bananas

I am worthless and weak when it comes to goodies of any kind.Frozen Chocolate Covered Almond Butter Bananas

I can plow through a plate of brownies. I can burrow into a large bag of potato chips and not come out until I get to the other side. I can tear open a family size chocolate bar with nothing but the intent of snapping off a little piece….and well, I don’t have to tell you how THAT works out. I have been known to empty an entire jar of nutella. Just me and a spoon.

And on. And on. It’s embarrassing.

If you share my brand of willpower – as in the non-existent kind – then you understand how this can be a problem. I had to DO something……so I came up with this.

Fudgy Peanut Butter Black Bean Brownies

Fudgy Peanut Butter Black Bean Brownies

Fudgy, chocolatey, moist and squidgie brownies. How I love them! I love them so much, however, that I rarely make them because I know that if I do, it is ON.

As in, the 3 pounds I’ll put ON from eating the entire batch. By myself.

In one day. Okay, in one sitting.

Do you think that’s really bad? Well, yes, evidentially gluttony of this caliber is not a particularly good habit to partake in so I try to curb it by biting the bullet and just saying no. Walk away from the brownies, sister, since I just can’t seem to control myself. Bring on the kale, and the brussels sprouts, and the tomatoes and lentils and beans and hey, wait a minute…………did someone figure out how to inject a molecule of virtue into an otherwise nutritionally void temptation? Enter the Black Bean Brownie.

Candy Cane Chocolate Truffles

Candy Cane Truffles

Can you roll a ball out of play dough? Then you can make these beauties. Can you bash up stuff with a hammer? Then you can be a master chocolatier for at least this moment. Need a quickie hostess gift? Running out of ideas? Got some leftover candy canes? Then I got you covered.

Show up anywhere with these and you will never be without friends. All you need are four ingredients and a little time.