Sweet Stuff

Frozen Key Lime Pie

Frozen Key Lime Pie

5 Ingredients.

5 minutes.

Probably 5 years worth of bragging rights.

Whipping cream, sweetened condensed milk, Key lime juice, vanilla extract, a pre-made graham cracker pie crust, a freezer. That is all you need to whip up (no pun intended, you will be doing the whip here….neh neh completely optional) the most amazing amalgam of silky, luxurious, should be labeled as a controlled substance, debauchery.

Chocolate Emergency Peanut Butter Patties

You may be able to relate to what I’m talking about.Super QUick Two Ingredients Chocolate Emergency Peanut Butter Patties

I was recently having a seemingly uncontrollable hankering for something sweet to nibble on. It wasn’t like I was particularly hungry, I mean, I certainly had plenty of actual food-food that I could have stuffed into my face…I just wanted something a little bad, ya know? Maybe a little creamy? Maybe a little chocolatey? oooooh yeah, and a little salty? Yes! THAT! Whatever that might be, that’s what I wanted.

And of course I wanted it right. that. minute.

Quinoa Blondies with Dark Chocolate Chips

Quinoa Blondies with Dark Chocolate Chips

I posted these such a way long time ago that I had forgotten about what a delightful little yummy they are, so let me bring you up to speed on this gem of a treat. What I am particularly partial to about these guys is that you can satisfy your sweet tooth, reel in some chocolate love and still get a substantial kick of fiber and protein, all wrapped up in a crave busting square of goodness.

Got an issue with gluten? Trying to cut back on the processed carbs? Then these will make you happy. Now I won’t make any claims that these are HEALTH FOOD per say, and no, you won’t find them on the menu of any detox diet plan……but hey! I know I need a goodie every once in a while, and these fit the bill without wrecking too much havoc. Works for me!

Faking-it, Make it Quick, Cheater Tiramisu

Faking it, Make it Quick, Cheaters Tiramisu

I just kinda let Valentines day blow in and sputter out without even one whiff of a romantically tinged offering from the Kick and Dinner kitchen, didn’t I? No dark chocolate dipped strawberries, no heart-shaped black bean brownies, not even a pastel-pink hued smoothie. I got NOTHIN.

NOTHIN.

Sorry about that, Poodle.

Let me make it up to you. With this:

Pumpkin Seed Chocolate Bark

Pumpkin Seed Chocolate Bark

Having a chocolate emergency? I totally get you.

If you have a bag of chocolate chips on hand…..well, there’s your remedy right there. Grab a handful and dispense them, epi-Pen style (but far less expensive – wait, that’s not even funny), and you should be good to go. Don’t you think? Not so much?

Still feeling that emergency but you’d like something with a little more, say….heft? Textural interest? A bit of crunch? Sweet, tart, maybe even a sophisticated hit of salt? ANd you want this right NOW?

Chocolate Drenched, Crunchy Nut Coated, Almond Butter Oozing Stuffed Dates

Oh, hey, Yikes. These things are dangerously good.

Stuffed Dates

Take half of a sticky date, with all of its natural dark-brown-sugar, caramel-candy-like sweetness…

Stuff it with as much gooey rich almond butter as you can possibly manage…

Dip this drupe dumpling into a decadent pool of melty dark chocolate…

Liberally coat the whole thing-a-ma-whats-it in a shower of crunchy, salty, finely chopped nuts….

and you just may fall prey to what’s known on the streets over here in my hood as the “crack turd“. I mean, seriously, these little logs of luscious are nothing short of amazement IN YOUR MOUTH, but they are not going to win any prizes in the best-looking category any time soon.

So yeh, they sorta look like a turd, okay? True as that may be they are like culinary crack and that is all you need to know. Your new addiction awaits.

Healthy Fudgy Frozen Cacao Balls

Healthy, Fudgy, Frozen Cacao Balls

I know it’s summertime and the Fro-Yo is beckoning, but I have something better here that I whipped up for you.

Creamy, luscious, actually HEALTHY, frosty balls of chocolatey dipped frozen finery, these little babies will curb your cravings for ice cream…when that’s all your brain can scream about.

Almond Butter Chocolate Chip Zucchini Banana Bars

This title took me so long to type that I might need to eat one of these guys for re-fuel-age. Almond butter chocolate chip zucchini banana bars

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t that long but any excuse is a good reason to whip up a batch of these. With absolutely no refined white flour (or any sort of flour for that matter), very low sugar (about 6 grams per square; compare that to your basic store-bought cookie at an average of 15 grams per cookie….that’s ONE cookie, people) vitamins, minerals, fiber and protein to boot, these super moist chocolate chip studded squares of gooey goodness will trick your sweet tooth into thinking you’ve been bad when in fact you’ve been very, very good.

Think of it as zucchini/banana bread gone wild. So incredibly yummy you will not believe how good for you a “treat” can be! And that’s just crazy-ness.

Frozen Chocolate Covered Almond Butter Bananas

I am worthless and weak when it comes to goodies of any kind.Frozen Chocolate Covered Almond Butter Bananas

I can plow through a plate of brownies. I can burrow into a large bag of potato chips and not come out until I get to the other side. I can tear open a family size chocolate bar with nothing but the intent of snapping off a little piece….and well, I don’t have to tell you how THAT works out. I have been known to empty an entire jar of nutella. Just me and a spoon.

And on. And on. It’s embarrassing.

If you share my brand of willpower – as in the non-existent kind – then you understand how this can be a problem. I had to DO something……so I came up with this.

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