Lemony, Garlicky, Kale and Brussels Sprouts Salad

Lemony, Garlicky, Kale and Brussels Sprouts Salad

This particular entry into my tiny little nano-sphere of the internet will probably pass under your right eyeball and then exit out behind your left ear of conscious attention in less than two seconds flat.

I know I really shouldn’t say that and jinx this recipe from the get go, but the title of this post might be way too green and “krunchie” (and I am not talking mastication) to get very excited about. 

Eeew, ANOTHER bitter Brassica Oleracea oratory? Kale and brussels sprouts are so, like, 2015.

And yeah, I guess you could totally see it that way (I do love my cruciferous crusaders, this is true) but I sure wish you wouldn’t. This salad is so delicious, so full of juicy crunch and taste bud tingling twang. And after you fall in love with it for its superficial “just a pretty face” deliciousness, you can give yourself a standing ovation over the astounding health benefits of what you will be happily consuming. I mean, this is serious stuff…….vitamins A, C, E, K, Riboflavin, Thiamine, Folate, Calcium, Potassium, Manganese….and more! Some of which I have never even heard of,  ALL DELIVERED RIGHT THERE INTO YOUR BODACIOUS BOD…

IN COPIOUS AMOUNTS!Lemony, Garlicky, Kale and Brussels Sprouts Salad

Sort of like a super sonic juiced out wheat grass shot (that you can chew and actually tastes good) times 1000.  I love it when function and flavor come together.  

Here is the bad news.

As with most good things there is one caveat. You GOTTA have a food processor; one that has a grater attachment, in order to get ‘er done. The grater makes amazingly short work of shredding the ingredients and essentially pulverizes the kale, which makes it super digestible and bio-available. I just can’t even recommend slicing this all up by hand, oh gawd, no.

Mental health is important too.

So lug out that old Cuisinart, just like I did…………Lemony, Garlicky, Kale and Brussels Sprouts Salad

and start eviscerating your veggies. Push through 3 cups of cleaned, trimmed brussels sprouts (for me this equaled 20 of the little buggers), one or two garlic cloves and a medium-sized shallot. Into a big bowl this goes. Then poke through your kale, nice and clean and de-stemmed, please! You have to sort of ball up the leaves and shove them down into the chute. This gets pulverized to a pulp in the crevasses of the processor, so just collect up that green goodness and add it to the bowl of brussels. Lastly, buzz in half of a granny smith apple. Make sure it’s organic, you’ll want to use the skin, and yes, just half. Really. Half. Trust me.Lemony, Garlicky, Kale and Brussels Sprouts Salad

In another smaller bowl, mix up the delectable dressing we will be using to bring everyone together.

Combine two teaspoons of Dijon mustard with the juice of three lemons. If you are feeling really ambitious, go ahead and zest those lemons first, and throw that all in together (when I am being lazy, I don’t bother with that step). Whisk in 1/2 cup of olive oil and then add a cup of finely grated Pecorino Romano cheese.

Now you’ll find that this particular cheese is sorta pricey and you may want to opt out for that reason…..okay, I get that. Asiago is a great substitute and will cost you about half….so go with that! DO NOT use that super crummy pre-packaged stuff in the can.Lemony, Garlicky, Kale and Brussels Sprouts Salad

Food snob much? (I KNOW you KNOW what I’m talking about)  Anyhoo…. add some fresh cracked pepper and a dash of kosher salt to this, and then pour it all over your big bowl of verdant veggies. Give this a good tossing together. I actually did it with my (a’hem, clean) hands with the bowl set down in the sink. The veggies will break down and retreat a bit as you dress them but it can be a little messy at first and hey, I’m all about preventing fallout cleanup.

Now give this about twenty minutes to hang out and get acquainted. Don’t go chilling the party down by whacking this in the refrigerator, this salad is best at room temp.Lemony, Garlicky, Kale and Brussels Sprouts Salad

And even better the next day!

Anytime, really. I seriously cannot stop shoving this into my face, it is so flippin good.

Look at me, taking my Isothiocyanates (want to know how good these are for you? Look here)!

Addiction encouraged.

RECIPE BELOW: This makes A LOT of salad, about six cups. It lasts for days in the fridge, but make sure to bring it down to (sorta) room temperature before you serve it. The food processor makes this so quick to buzz together, I promise it takes longer to clean up (no lie), than it does to make. Many thanks to my friend Dianne, who shared this recipe with me (originally from the Food Network).

Lemony, Garlicky, Kale and Brussels Sprouts Salad
  1. 3 cups of brussels sprouts (roughly 20) cleaned and trimmed
  2. 1 bunch kale (well washed and de-stemmed)
  3. 1 or 2 cloves of garlic (mine were small so I used 2) peeled
  4. 1 shallot, peeled
  5. 1/2 organic Granny Smith apple, cored (leave the skin on)
  6. 1 cup of finely grated Pecorino Romano cheese (OR you can sub in Asiago)
  7. 1/2 cup olive oil
  8. 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
  9. 3 lemons, juice and zest (juice over a mesh strainer into the bowl to make things easier)
  10. salt and pepper to taste
  11. OPTIONAL**
  12. 1/2 cup toasted pine nuts (this was in the original recipe)
  1. Fit a food processor with the shredding blade, and shred the brussels sprouts, garlic and shallot. Transfer to a large bowl.
  2. In the same processor shred the kale, it will pretty much pulverize so scrape whats left out of the processor and into the bowl with the sprouts.
  3. Shred the apple and add to the pile of veggies.
  4. In a separate bowl whisk together the lemon juice and zest with the Dijon mustard. Stream in the olive oil as you whisk it all together. Mix in the grated cheese, salt and pepper to taste.
  5. Pour the dressing over the greens, along with the nuts (if you choose to add them) and toss well.
  6. Let this sit for 20 minutes or more, serve at room temp.
  7. Super yummy with any sort of rich main course, such as ribs or pork or sausage, the stringent citrus flavors really cut the fatty-ness, and everyone balances together beautifully.
  8. Also good, alone, as is, in a big bowl, with a fork......in front of the tv. Gotta exercise those jaw muscles too, ya know........
  1. ** I did not have any pine nuts (and couldn't seem to procure any) so I tried this with some roasted chopped pepitas (pumpkin seeds) and then I attempted it again without any nuts at all. The nuts are totally great in this but not really necessary to the success of this salad. And that surprises me to admit because I (like everyone, I suspect) love nuts of any sort in a salad. There you go. Do your own nutty thing.
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